50 days of zazen, and the future

I renamed my 100 days of zazen tag to 50 days of zazen. I did the 100 days, and am still going. But I stopped writing after 55 days. I was quite busy-brained throwing myself into a new job. And when I did sit down, I decreasingly knew what to say. I choose to interpret that as a good thing.

My teacher shared a paper she once wrote on taking your zen to work with you. This is the challenge of challenges for me. I’m much more likely to take my work into my zazen. Whoops. But I’ll get there. It may take many years, but I’ll get there.

I’ve been tempted to start another blog because I’m enjoying work, and that inevitably means thinking more about “professional” kinds of things. But if I blog in more than one place, I’m going to lose enthusiasm for one or the other. So I’m not going to do that. I’m just going to use this place for whatever it is I want to talk about.

I’ve always struggled to reconcile the various bits of me. The silly me. The serious me. The creative me. The analytical me. The happy me. The grumpy, sad me. But I’ve been a little bit inspired by the “bring your whole self to work” people. I might start bringing my whole self to blog. I’m all of these things, and it’s time I stopped fretting about the reconciling and just do whatever it is I feel compelled to do now, and try my hardest to be a good person and a nice person while I do it.